"Probably the worst band in the world"
THE OFFICIAL MR EPP BIOGRAPHY
by Craig Joyce
1978 -
Mr Epp was a math teacher at Bellevue Christian High School where
Darren, Mark
and Smitty
attended in the late 70s/early 80s. One day Smitty was not
paying attention in math class and was somehow transported out of Bellevue into
a better world and so exclamed aloud, "Mr Epp and the Calculations --what a
great name for a rock band!". Thus the legend of Mr Epp was born.
Their first "live show" was singing Marvin Gaye's "Got to give it up" on a
donut crazed Junior Bible teacher's desk, using rolled up maps as guitars.
Mark McLaughlin and Paul Zech of the Zucchini
brothers augmented Peter Wick and Smitty (and later
Darren Morey).
1980 -
June was the first time they got together in Darren's basement to make
a racket with real instruments and a two-track cassette recorder (known as
"The Pigeon in the Fountain Bed" sessions). Mainly it
was Peter reading his short story of the same name over Smitty and
Tom Wolf playing slide guitars together, Mark
drumming, and others sitting in, making assorted background noises (and,
among them, Todd Morey, later Why?).
Two major turning points in Epp history were seeing Devo
at the Showbox in August, 1980 and A Film about Jimi Hendrix.
That year, when Mark was home on college break, he got together with Tom
Wolf and Smitty in my parent's basement with a very cheap blue guitar, a
cardboard box in lieu of drums, and lyrics extolling the publicc to prevent
the demise of low rated radio station KZAM-AM, home of wacky DJ Stephen
Rabow, who had aired an excerpt of the "Pigeon" session introducing it with
the line "Mr Epp - the worst band in the world".
1981 -
In the summer they all got jobs and went more than a little crazy,
well beyond the call of the duty, spending a lot more time in the basement
on a makeshift stage, with boxes of cocktail straw, pretending to be a punk
rock band, miming to the Sex Pistols, Undertones, Clash etc. and breaking
dumpsters worth of what would now be chic thrift store plates and glasses in
a rage against the war machine or more likely just because they were young,
stupid, destructive, and from the suburbs with nothing better to do and it
felt good.
They also expended a huge amount of their time and youthful energy plastering
the city with a variety of posters based on the basic "Mr
Epp is coming soon!" theme.
Epp finally played their debut show, after many
cancelled dates (at least twice due to Todd being grounded) in
October, 1981 at Queen Anne's UCT Hall. opening for Student Nurse.
"Of Course I'm Happy, Why?"
(record, sleeve, lyrics insert, baseball card)
1982 - Student Nurse's drummer
John Rubato produced their
early 1982 debut 7", "Of course I'm happy, why?",
which came out after they'd just played three live shows, on Dennis White
and Maire Masco's short lived Pravda Records.
KROQ's Rodney Bingenheimer hyped "Mohawk Man" a
lot on his LA based Rodney on the Rocks show where it actually made
it to #1, beating out Toni Basel's "Mickey" which later made it to national
#1, unlike their song. (Maybe they should have made a video).
In late '82 Mr Epp opened, to an extremely hostile crowd, for new wave
star Nina Hagen. New Years '82/'83 saw Epp playing with Dirk
Kahler on second guitar, in Verna Dohrety's
basement, A lot of this show appears on side two of the Live
as all get out! tape release.
1983 - Dan Blossom
(Feast) played guitar on a epic live version of The Velvet Underground's "The
gift" as Darren read his six page transcription. Steve and Smitty jammed with
Verna as Doggs with Dreddloxx. Mark and Todd played
with her, and Dana and Greg
from The Limp Richerds, as Jack
Klugman & the Ice Picks, a punk rock parody band that did at least
one show, the highlight of which was "I hate cops because
they killed my dog".
Late in '83 Epp played to over 1,000 people (by far the biggest crowd and
paycheck, $150) opening for the Dead Kennedys at
the Eagles Auditorium, along with Ten Minute Warning
and The Rejectors. UK noise/terror outfit
Whitehouse was supposed to play a show set and/or
"jam" with Mr Epp but they were scared off by bullies beating up them and
Joe Piecuch.
[NOTE: I have recived some emails from Joe Piecuch telling
this story from a different poin of view: check'em at the bottom of the page].
Punks were often
narrow-minded then. A young boy with a two foot high purple mohawk came up
to me after the show, yelling, "That's not music, that's just
noise!".
In June 1983 Steve Turner joined on second lead
guitar and Epp praticed a lot in Darren's tiny bedroom. Jo recalls, "I
don't know why we only played 2 or 3 times with Steve and I can't really
remember why Darren wanted us to break up but I remember him and Todd
telling me about it at some goofy ice cream joint in Bellevue. Steve says
he and Mark begged us to record but that we wouldn't do it. I don't recall
this but if it's true, we were pretty stupid. I do remember Mark - in
mid-Green River days - saying 'We should have done
an album'. Actually it's amazing we were any good at all given that it was
the '80s and Reagan was in, we took both politics and Art seriously (before
the last show i carefully spread pale blue paint on one hand and white on
the other) and we were from a brain dead suburb".
1984 - Epp played their
final show at the Metropolis on Feb 3, 1984,
with Malfunkshun, opening for
Fang, whose guitarist Tom Flynn now runs
Boner Records, past home of the
Melvins and Steel Pole Bath Tub.
The final show was brought to a close with an epic, half hour rendition of
"Flogging" featuring twenty people on stage, smoke bombs, and an Hefty bag
of hair and dirt dumped on the audience.
That's it.
It was all over in less than three years.
Mark and Steve recruited ex Derranged Diction bassist
Jeff Ament and ex Spluii Numa
drummer Alex Shumway and were soon playing out as
Green River.
Mark and Steve played in the last version of The Limp Richerds, as well as
The Thrown Ups, who lasted into the early '90s.
The River ran dry in '87.
1985 - All five menbers of Epp sat on the steps of Ground Zero Art Gallery as Whitehouse played in 1985. "It's an Epp reunion --give us money!" someone yelps.
1988 - In 1988 Arm and Turner reunited in
Mudhoney and later the Monkeywrench.
Smitty and Darren got back together with Peter and
Liz Schmoe (of Western Family)
to form the short lived band with one of the longest names ever,
Lapses in Grammar Afforded to Avoid Sexism, a free
improv blues based noise band whose songs tended to go for half an hour.
Smith and Darren also played in the all-star cover band, The
World's Greatest Funk Band which included Al
Merati (ex Snowman Hospital) &
Russ Leonard (ex Strenght through
Joy).
Todd quit music until 1986's even shorter lived, Dead in
Baltimore, which was 3/4 of Epp as it featured Smitty and Darren.
Todd formed Fred's Crashshop (whose lone cassette
release Wired up goddamn tight today, came
out on Dog Tapes in 1988) with Trevor Lutzenhizer,
who later played with him in Atomic 61.
Darren started playing with Steel Pole Bath Tub,
who'd recently moved to Seattle from Denver, and soon left for San Francisco.
1990 - Todd and Trevor formed Atomic 61 with Elizabeth Davis (7 Year Bitch) and Lisa Smith (Dickless / Teen Angels) comprising an early lineup which cut a 10" and a single with Smitty producing. A new Smitty (and sometimes Darren) band Dosed Bernie (lead by Paul Uusitalo) opened a few west coast dates with Steel Pole and Atomic 61.
1991 - In late '91 Smitty and Todd joined
Steel Pole for a rousing encore of "Come together" at Rock Candy with Darren
asking, "Is Mark Arm here?". He wasn't or it would have been an Epp
reunion.
Steel Pole Bath Tub toured Europe with Smitty singing in a number of cities,
including a 40-minute version of "Mohawk Man" in Lyon, France with members
of Neurosis and some French guy that could easily
pass for Steve who just wandered up on stage.
1992 - Mudhoney's first major label release, Piece of Cake, came out on Reprise. They were also on the Singles soundtrack.
1993 - Mark and Steve join Jeff and Stone for two Green River songs as part of a Pearl Jam encore.
1994 - Epic jam at Mark's 32nd birthday party with Kim Thail, Ron Nine, Stone Gossard, Mark and Smitty on a "Sister Ray" meets James Brown riff. Sadly no one rolls tape.
1995 - Mudhoney tours the Far East with Pearl Jam, Steel Pole signs to Slash, Atomic 61 releases two albums and plays shows in nearly every crummy bar in the USA.
1996 - Epp turns down a $200 offer to back
Lou Reed at the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame show,
offering the gig to a grateful Soul Asylum.
Ridiculing the Apocalypse, the definitive
Mr Epp CD anthology, is released by Super Electro
in association with Dog Tapes.
Only the magic bear knows what the future holds...
Discography
"Pravda Volume One"
MR EPP RELEASES
Of course I'm happy, why? 7"
5-track EP on Pravda Records (1982)
Live as all get out! tape
Deus Ex Machina/Dog Tapes (1983)
Reissued on Box Dog (1992)
Tapes from the dead tape
Box Dog (1990)
Ridiculing the Apocalypse CD
Super Electro (1996)
COMPILATIONS
"The Public Doesn't Exist"
"Mohawk man"
"Mr Epp talks to youngster"
on Pravda Volume One tape
(Pravda, 1982)
"Spooky"
"Genocide"
on The public doesn't exist tape
(Dog Tapes, 1982)
"Jaded"
on Mighty freeble LP
(New Alliance Records, 1983)
"Mohawk man (live)"
"Intellectual fool"
"Jaded"
on First strike tape
(Bad Compilation Tapes, 1983)
"Seattle Syndrome"
"Out of control"
on Seattle syndrome II LP
(Engram Records, 1983)
"Strong arms of the law"
"Keep on smilin' till the end"
on What syndrome? tape
(Deus Ex Machina, 1983)
"What's right?!"
on Basic sampler tape
(Basic Tapes, 1983)
"Falling"
on Local product tape
(Green Monkey, 1983)
"Smile (live)"
"What's right (live)"
on Hoop skirt/Loop yarn video
(Box Dog, 1990)
"Seattle Syndrome Two"
For a catalog including Epp stuff write to
Box Dog/Dog Tapes
P.O. Box 9609
Seattle, WA
98102 USA
Super Electro Sound Recordings
P.O. Box 20401
Seattle, WA
98102 USA
Getting a story straight...
From: Joseph Piecuch
Date: Fri, 02 Apr 1999
whether it was craig joyce or not who wrote that mr epp 'bio', it is so preposterously off the mark re: the dead kennedy's/whitehouse 'episode' that someone is obviously trying to whitewash the ignoble heritage of jello biafra and mike vraney. get your facts and story straight. goddamit!
From: Joseph Piecuch
Date: Sat, 10 Apr 1999
on 3/29/83 i 'produced' a show by savage republic at ground zero gallery.
during the show, 8-10 members of an erstwhile 'punk' 'street gang'
calling themselves the 'boppo boys' decided that their willingness to
kick in fire exit doors and break windows meant that they should be
allowed free entrance to the show. when i and a (female) member of the
gallery staff tried patiently to explain that we just didn't see it that
way, one of the 'boppo boys' slugged the woman in the mouth. a melee
ensued. at least two of the 'boppo boys' were treated in the harborview
e.r. for injuries and then arrested for assault and property destruction.
whitehouse was not in town at the time. I have never been beaten up in my
life.
on 4/25/83, i 'produced' a whitehouse show at ground zero gallery. for
approximately two weeks prior to that, the band members were 'in town'.
epp had been offered an opening slot for a dead kennedy's show during the
same time period. smitty had the (great) idea of adding whitehouse to the
billing. whitehouse was enthusiastic about the idea. i approached jim
lightfoot, the show's promoter, with the idea. he got back to me and said
that it was ok with him, and that jello biafra liked the idea, but that
mike vraney, the manager of the dead kennedys, wouldn't allow it. i then
approached mike vraney, who gave me the same story, except in his version
jim lightfoot was the bad guy. it was obvious to me that SOMEONE didn't
want whitehouse playing the show, but didn't have the guts to admit it. i
told smitty it wasn't going to happen, and why, and he generously offered
to put us on the epp guestlist. the members of whitehouse and i spent the
day of the show shopping used bookstores in seattle, then headed to the
venue to catch the show. as we approached the door, i noticed several of
the 'boppo boys' loitering in the vicinity. i explained the situation to
the whitehouse band members, and we agreed that, given the likelihood of
a fight and the fact that neither of the two english members of the group
were carrying i.d., it was more intelligent to just skip the show and
avoid trouble. there was no fight, and no one was beaten up.
so, what is wrong with what is on your site is that it contains several
factual errors that cast the events you describe in a very different
light from the reality of what happened. it is all pretty
inconsequential, but presenting a history of epp is your conceit, and i
think it is important, in a history, to adhere as closely as it is
possible to the facts as they can be ascertained...especially if you're
going to drag my name into it. sorry to rub your face into it, but your
account doesn't even agree with the source you named.
From: Mark Arm
Date: Tue, 22 Jun 1999
Joe Piecuch has a much clearer memory of these events than I do and
probably even clearer than Craig Joyce's. I'd take his word for it.
